By Mansfield Frazier
You could say that new Cleveland Browns owner Jimmy Haslam is a lucky man — or at least he was a lucky man on Tax Day April 15. That was the day the feds didn’t have an indictment in hand when they raided the Knoxville headquarters of his company, Pilot Flying J (FBI agents were armed with an affidavit they used to obtain a search warrant), so they couldn’t make him suffer the indignity of doing the perp walk. But, by all indications, if they could have slapped the cuffs on him they certainly would have. They’re not feeling too much love for ‘ol Jimmy right now down below the Cotton Curtain.
His company is being accused of bilking trucking companies out of millions of dollars due to them in the form of gas rebates over the years. Supposedly, the more gas the truckers purchased, the bigger the rebate checks should have been … but the feds are alleging a conspiracy (keep that word in mind) to defraud them on a level that suggests Haslam and his employees were running some kind of cornbread Mafia.
If Haslam only knew what I know about the feds — and I’m not talking about what I heard, I’m talking about what I know from my nearly 30-year criminal career and five felony convictions — he’d count his blessings that he wasn’t paraded in chains in front of the whole world, cut his losses (which would include quickly selling the Cleveland Browns) and hire the best damn team of plea bargaining lawyers in the country … because it’s a pretty sure bet that’s exactly what he’s going to need to represent him as this case unfolds.
He’s already off to a good start by retaining Nashville attorney Aubrey Harwell, the same lawyer Eddie DeBartolo Jr. (the former owner of the San Francisco 49ers) used when, in 1997, he got caught paying what was described as “$400,000 in extortion money” to former Louisiana Gov. Edwin Edwards in exchange for a riverboat gambling license approval. But any similarity between that case and what Haslam is currently facing ends right there. DeBartolo stepped down as owner of the franchise, but prison time was really never even a consideration in his case.
But the feds, in this instance, are signaling much more serious charges are about to be brought forth. They had a C.I. (confidential informant) wearing a wire inside Haslam’s operation as top executives bragged at sales meetings — in brutal, profanity-filled terms — of how they were “butt-fuckin’” trucking companies out of their rebates.
Western Express, a Nashville trucking company, calculated that it had been cheated out of over $1 million over the years, but a Haslam employee was recorded jokingly saying that the total amount was closer to $5 million. John Freeman, Pilot Flying J’s vice president for sales, was caught on tape saying how Haslam knew of the scheme and “loved it.” Don’t forget that word “conspiracy” and add the term “continuing criminal enterprise” to it.
John Steinbeck once wrote, “Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” In other words, in this country we tend to love the rich simply because most folks wish they were among them. There was a time in America when most people thought that by dent of their own hard work they too could rise to millionaire status but, increasingly, that dream is turning into a chimera.
With that said, it’s going to be very hard for the average lunch-bucket Joe (the truck drivers who, over the years, has been loyally buying tickets to Browns games) to summons up much sympathy for — or identify with — this very wealthy dude … if the substantial allegations being made against him prove to be true.
By all appearances, this bunch of good ‘ol boys at Pilot Flying J thought they were slicker than snot on a doorknob. And while Haslam curried an image of philanthropy around the state, my sources in Knoxville tell me anecdotally that the only persons of color seen going into the company’s headquarters were there to scrub the toilets or perhaps answer phones. They’ve virtually guaranteed me that all of the accused conspirators are going to be as white as the snow that rarely falls in Knoxville. So, maybe this is one of those cases where being black was a blessing.
I have to wonder if anyone from the NFL looked at Haslam’s hiring and promoting practices before he was allowed to buy the Browns. In cases like this red flags that should have been spotted are going to be popping up all over the place now that spotlights are being shined into dark corners. “Retrospect,” like hindsight, is always 20/20.
And you can bet your sweet ass that while the other NFL owners are not saying anything publicly just yet, they’re privately beginning to hint at the possibility of Haslam stepping down as the owner until the charges are adjudicated. Needless to say they’re all shaking in their Gucci loafers right about now. This is the biggest potential scandal to hit this very wealthy and extremely conservative league since Debartolo, and they don’t like it one bit.
As a group they’re very protective of their image … as they should be. These owners have got enough to worry about simply trying to ride herd on over 1500 players … a goodly number of which have had their chimes rang so many times over the years they might do something incredibly stupid — or worse yet, criminal — at any given moment. They really don’t need mud splashed on them by this guy, no matter how well mannered and charming he happens to be.
The problem for Haslam is, this is his first rodeo. Instinctively he’s bound — in a fit of arrogance only someone who envisions himself as a paid-up-for-life member of the entitled aristocracy of the Old South can muster — to attempt to blow off the charges that his company (which owns more truck stops than any other company in America, and is the nation’s sixth largest privately held business), has been cooking the books going back years — and with his knowledge and tacit approval. Keep in mind those two aforementioned criminal terms.
We’re talking about a multi-billionaire who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, the kind of guy who comes into this world on third base and swears he hit a home run, whose brother is the governor of Tennessee to boot. What the hell could he have been thinking?
But Haslam’s combative — that’s why he wanted to own the Browns — and I just don’t think that he’ll be able to quickly learn how, as they say in hillbilly parlance, “to suck hind tit.” He’s never had to “take shorts” in his life … and I don’t think he is capable of it on such short notice. But pride always goes before the fall, and he and some of his road dogs just might have to learn how to “take low” before this game is finally over. If I were any of them, again, knowing what I know about the feds, I’d cancel Christmas.
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Let’s Let the Inmates Run the Asylum
While Jimmy Haslam might be whistling past the graveyard, that doesn’t mean we have to be whistling right along with him. Once we face the inevitable fact that he’s toast, the question then becomes one of who the new owner will be.
I’ve got a suggestion: The new owner(s) should be the Browns fans. Yes, us.
I’ve heard the NFL put some kind of wacky rule in place to preclude other cities from having the same ownership model as the Green Bay Packers (a franchise that’s owned by the fans) but, hey, rules are made to be changed aren’t they?
The NFL has proven they are not real good at picking owners … even a cursory investigation by the League would have revealed the fact trouble was brewing down in Knoxville, since some of these trucking companies Pilot Flying J has been screwing over no doubt have been complaining about the scandalous treatment for years. If the NFL didn’t know it was going on — why not? Where was the due diligence?
The NFL owes us the opportunity to take the fate of our beloved team into our own hands. If Browns fans owned the franchise and used social media to make group decisions on which coaches to hire, which players to draft, and all other major decisions, then we would have no one else to blame but ourselves if things get screwed up, right?
The ownership should revert to Learner, who would then hold the team and allow the fans to raise the funds to purchase it from him. With all of the Browns fans out there — all over the country and indeed the whole world — we should be able to come up with a billion dollars without breaking too much of a sweat. But if we don’t try it we’ll never know if we can, will we?
It could work like this: Each ownership share would be worth one vote. Those with more shares get more votes … duhhh.
Each owner would have a way of voting over a secured server, or cloud, or whatever the fuck it is these computer geeks would come up with. Hell, we could hold a contest to design the system (which some 15-year-old would probably win).
It’s known all over the world that Cleveland is a football crazy town; let’s prove it by buying the Browns.
From Cool Cleveland correspondent Mansfield B. Frazier mansfieldfATgmail.com. Frazier’s From Behind The Wall: Commentary on Crime, Punishment, Race and the Underclass by a Prison Inmate is available again in hardback. Snag your copy and have it signed by the author by visiting http://www.neighborhoodsolutionsinc.com.
2 Responses to “MANSFIELD: Pssst! Want to Buy a Football Team, Cheap?”
Dick Peery
Good suggestion, Mansfield, but don’t hold your breath. Letting the fans into the club would break up the sweetest racket this side of casinos. Sports team owners are robber barons whose wealth is derived in large part from their ability to hold guns to communities’ heads and threaten to move if they don’t keep increasing the goodies. That’s why we build stadiums for them and give them everything else they want. Halsam paid a billion for the Browns, but quickly recouped 10 percent of the cost by simply selling the naming rights. That was even before fielding a watchable team. But don’t be in such a rush to kick him to the curb. They next one may be worse. It’ll go on and on. As long as we are willing to play patsy they’ll keep playing pirate.
IndyCA35
Good idea, Mansfield, but better yet: Kick the Browns out of town. Let ’em go to Knoxville or wherever. Fans could then switch their loyalty and the media their attention to the Steelers. Anyone wanting to attend a game would only have to drive two hours. We would have a champion team for the first time since 1964. With a much larger market than either the Browns or Steelers currently have, the team could charge more and use the proceeds to buy good players and start even more of a dynasty.
Incidentally, the name would be appropriate because more steel is made in Cleveland than in Pittsburgh.