By Mansfield Frazier
Father’s Day weekend in Cleveland was, as usual, abuzz with activities designed to uplift and stabilize fathers. Thanks to the efforts of former Commissioner Peter Lawson Jones and others, strong programs are in place to aid young men in becoming better fathers. All of this got me to thinking about the roles fathers play in the lives of their children in these modern times.
The phenomenon of stay-at-home dads first surfaced in mainstream culture in the early ’80s when Michael Keaton starred in the hugely successful comedy-drama Mr. Mom. The plotline was brilliantly simple: Jack (Keaton’s character), an engineer at Ford, lives with his wife Caroline (Terri Garr) and their three kids in a suburb of Detroit. He’s laid off during an economic downturn but his wife is able to find work at an ad agency, a field she previously worked in. Jack finds that managing a household is a lot more complicated than it first seems. And of course the storyline is laced with plenty of sexual hijinks that add spice to the plot.
The film worked so well because it was mirroring a cultural shift that, by the time the movie came out, was well underway: Moms being the breadwinners, dads being the care providers. It added to the empowering narrative of women being able to succeed in the workforce, while bringing fathers — who, heretofore, often were viewed as some kind of distant creature who only came home to eat and sleep — more fully into the lives of their progeny. The fact the movie added a new understanding of, and complexity and value to, the managing of a household — which often is portrayed as drudgery bordering on slavery — certainly didn’t hurt the plotline either.
However, long before white, middleclass couples began engaging in role reversal, it was a somewhat common practice in the black community … and actually for the same economic reasons — men not being able to secure gainful employment. But the scenario plays out a bit differently in communities of color.
Historically, black females have often been able to secure employment in the white dominated economic environment in higher numbers than black males, a phenomenon that’s been greatly increasing over the last few decades as the fracturing of the black family continues apace.
The number of females finishing high school and going on to college in black and brown communities triples the number of males from those demographics. Anecdotally, I think that one of the principal reasons for this phenomenon is that it’s easier for a single mom to successfully rear and mentor a female into adulthood than it is for single moms to raise a male child to the same level of maturity and accomplishment.
But this is not to say, or even infer, that many single women of all races and colors don’t do an excellent job of raising their male offspring — they can and do.
But for whatever reason, black women are becoming the predominant breadwinners in economically disadvantaged communities as under-educated young men of color stay home and tend the children (or in too many instances abandon the family altogether). However, when this occurs among families of color it’s not thought of as being an enlightened lifestyle choice — it’s viewed as a sign of sloth on the part of black and brown males … which only further diminishes this demographic in the eyes of society.
But these young men are being castigated and demonized for something that really isn’t their fault or is of their own making. Not so ironically, the same folks who are most vocal in criticizing these young fathers are the same ones who routinely discriminate in hiring.
We live in a society and culture where those with the wherewithal to actually do something in regards to minority unemployment steadfastly refuse to hire fairly, but in the next breath call those they won’t give a chance lazy, shiftless and only looking for a handout.
There’s a historical context for the dissolution of the black family in poor urban areas: Back in the ’60s as well-meaning (but poorly thought out and executed) federal programs were being put in place to solve the plight of the poor, for women to obtain any form of assistance, they had to assure social workers no male resided in the household … thus making the male a “back door man” only able to slink in and out as if they were some thief attempting to steal government services. Some role models they made!
Since the problems facing urban, economically disadvantaged, and minority families have been decades in the making, they’re going to require an equal number of decades to fix. But one way to start is by allowing the black male to reassume his rightful role as the head of his household, no matter who the breadwinner happens to be.
It’ll take years, but this is the only way we can begin to raise a generation of young urban males who respect women, themselves, and human life. They first have to be taught by strong fathers how to respect themselves … only then will they respect others. And until — and unless — that happens … the senseless spates of violence we’re experiencing in urban communities will continue unabated.
From Cool Cleveland correspondent Mansfield B. Frazier mansfieldfATgmail.com. Frazier’s From Behind The Wall: Commentary on Crime, Punishment, Race and the Underclass by a Prison Inmate is available again in hardback. Snag your copy and have it signed by the author by visiting http://NeighborhoodSolutionsInc.com.