By Mansfield Frazier
If you had a relatively stable family life and upbringing, count yourself lucky … and please, don’t be so judgmental of those less fortunate souls. There but for the grace of God goes you or I.
One of the young men who’s working on our construction and vineyard projects this year (he’s 20-years-old and I’ll just call him “R”) hasn’t caught anything but shitty breaks his entire life: Raised in the county’s foster care system where he was moved around like a piece of lost mail, he “aged out” at age 18 and, similar to what too many young folks in his circumstances do as they attempt to navigate the adult world with no skills and little guidance, he got into trouble with the law.
“R” had recently been released from prison when he began working on our BioCellar … and man, does he work! Rarely have I had a young person so willing to go the extra mile, to put in the extra effort … busting his ass trying to do things right.
He obtained his GED while he was incarcerated, and is currently enrolled in college in the evenings. This is a young man who is very serious about making it in life.
But even after he got a few paychecks under his belt he was still broke and borrowing $20 from me to last him until the next payday. When I questioned him in regards to what’s going on with him financially (yeah, I get all up in my dudes’ business, it’s all part of the mentoring we engage in) he said the reason he was broke this week was because he spent his money purchasing his mother a cell phone … and not just any cell phone, she wanted a high-end, state-of-the-art model. She had evidently lost her previous phone.
When he told me this it was all I could do to keep from blurting out: Isn’t this the same woman that failed you so badly the county had to raise you? And now you’re busting your ass to buy her a cell phone?
Now it’s not hard to imagine something going wrong in a person’s life — illness or other circumstances — that requires them to give up custody of their progeny for a period of time. But this wasn’t the case with “R” … his mother was rarely in his life … but now that he’s old enough to work she’s demanding cell phones.
Naturally I kept my mouth shut, but when I mentioned the conversation to my wife (who has decades of social work experience with juveniles) she assured me the fealty “R” was feeling towards his mother was not all that unusual: Even children who are neglected and treated badly still seek approval and love from their parent(s).
The reason I’m writing about “R” is not simply to castigate his mother; she’ll have to answer to her maker for what she did or didn’t do in regards to her son. My concern is with the young man.
Our construction work is going to end in a few weeks and I’m concerned in regards to what this young man will do next to earn a living. The fact is, he’s willing to do any kind of honest labor, so if anyone out there has a line on a job for this young man who certainly deserves a break, please give me a call at 216.469.0124.
Anyone who hires “R” won’t be disappointed.
From Cool Cleveland correspondent Mansfield B. Frazier mansfieldfATgmail.com. Frazier’s From Behind The Wall: Commentary on Crime, Punishment, Race and the Underclass by a Prison Inmate is available again in hardback. Snag your copy and have it signed by the author by visiting http://NeighborhoodSolutionsInc.com.